The people in our Johnny Stallings Arts Program have shared insights with me on lots of topics that have impacted my views on most everything in life but last week, Katie told me a story that offered an example of how I could improve my love life. Katie has a long-term, on-again-off-again, innocent, sweet and age-appropriate relationship with Noah but when I listened to the story of what happened at a recent dance, I realized that I could take her situation, grow it up to an adult level and probably add some spice back into my romantic life with Alan (If my adult children are reading this, they probably just threw up).
Katie told me the story while she was at work, wearing a tiara, as she normally does. You see, Katie is a princess. I’ve heard her introduce herself to people like this: “Hi! I Katie. I graduate from high school. I work at Merrimack Hall. I a songwriter. And I a princess.” Spend enough time around Katie and you’ll begin to realize that being a princess is a state of mind. Once, she told me that I was a princess, too.
“Don’t you think I’m a little old to be a princess?” I asked. “How about I’m the queen.”
“Debra,” she said, “You never too old to be a princess.”
So, her story was that she and Noah were on a date at a dance and things started going south when Katie told Noah she wanted to slow dance and he told her he didn’t.
“Why he not slow dance?” she asked me. “I look beautiful. I look perfect. I work so hard…my hair, my purse, my red dress. I a princess.”
If I followed the story correctly, Noah refused to slow dance because he only wanted to hip-hop dance, which I interpreted to mean that he didn’t want to do the mushy stuff but instead wanted to show off his killer moves. Katie, all dolled up and ready for romance, wanted to slow dance and to be treated like the princess she is.
“What did you do when he told you ‘No’?” I asked.
“I say ‘No slow dance, no kiss. I really want to kiss Noah…so I mad.”
“What happened next?” I was dying to know how this turned out because I’ve seen Katie when she’s mad and my advice…avoid making a princess mad at all costs!
“He say he want to kiss too. I say ‘Then slow dance.’ We slow dance. Then we kiss. On the cheek. Then I happy.”
That’s where the light bulb went off for me. They both wanted to kiss … on the cheek … but Noah’s way of getting there was to strut his stuff while Katie’s way was to slow dance and be treated like a princess. I had to admit that even though I think I’m pretty capable, even though I’m independent and in charge and don’t need a knight in shining armor to rescue me, I would like to be treated like a princess, every now and then.
If I had known Katie back in the ‘80’s, I wouldn’t have had to read, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From … some other planet that I can’t remember, because she nailed the difference in the sexes with one simple story. Men and women want the same thing…the kiss…but we have very different ways of getting it. Katie was baffled that all of her hard work and preparation for the dance – the hair, the nails, the red dress – didn’t get her the result she wanted. And Noah was probably confused when Katie wasn’t won over by his strutting around. Of course, the real moral to the story is that the only way the disagreement was resolved was that Noah had to do things Katie’s way. “You’re right” – the two most important words a man can ever say to a woman. Noah conceded to Katie’s wishes and everyone lived happily ever after…for now.
I’m going to try to adopt Katie’s mindset because she’s right … a girl is never too old to be a princess.The next time I want to be romantic with Alan, I’m going to get all dolled up and ask him to slow dance with me. I’m going to let him strut around and show off but then I’m going to ask him to tell me I’m a princess. If things go according to plan, we will both end up happy in the end (my children just threw up again).